(Trying to get these updates out as fast as I can! I need to catch up to where Agnes is now.)
We reached La Mancha in due time and found it a pit of spiders and scorpions. Once we reached the keep, we met a monkey monk and a.. donkey?
"Pancho!" cried the donkey, who was wearing armor and holding a lance and shield. "We must prepare for the great Giant Invasion! Their wicked spinning blades will not raze my castle!"
"Man, two cartons short of a six-pack," said Bonnie Anne. "We're looking for the Paw ourselves."
"Please turn back!" warned Pancho. "That relic is cursed! Let me tell the sad tale of my master..."
(I had to cut-and-paste this from a video because the puppet show didn't load properly and I couldn't replay it because I had accidently clicked past it and it didn't register. Dang!)
The tale of the Paw was interesting - it used to be an actual hand of a Monquistan saint called Saint Bonzo, who was executed thrice but came back twice. However, one of his hands was affixed to a scepter and granted the power to give any Monquistan who held it three wishes... but if they were evil in some way, the wishes would backfire in horrible ways.
Monkey Hotay had found the Paw to give to his former master, but he grew greedy and used the paw to make two wishes - first he wished for a million bananas to slack his hunger, and then he wished to become a noble called Don Quihote. Sadly, the wishes backfired - he got his horde of million bananas, but instead of being a Don Qui, he became a Donkey and the transformation drove him insane, attacking windmills because he thought they were giants.
The first wish backfired because the bananas were spotted by passing captains and they related this to the nobles, causing them to invade La Mancha and destroy it. The Paw was lost in the scuffle.
"Bah," I said. "They don't call me Clever Agnes for nothing. We'll find that paw."
Pancho sighed. "I guess I cannot stop you, but if you do find it, can you please let my Master make his final wish before you take it to whoever asked you for it? I know you don't want it because you are not from this world and thus it will not work for you."
I agreed to this and he directed me to a monk in St. Bonobo's Abbey who had been a part of that horrible invasion long ago, Antonio De Miranda, who told us that we could find a text of the battle in the Holy Library in Monquista City.
"Great blazes!" cried Ratbeard in rage. "We're fugitive! If we go back there they'll skin us alive!"
"Well, I'm sure they won't agree to help, considering they tried to have us killed and declared us enemies of the land," I said. "But I think we can find a way in."
"Yes," said Antonio. "There are many ancient tunnels under the city and I know there is one that leads to the interior of the library. If you can get inside, I will send word to my colleague to help you."
I was right on my mark - there was an entrance to the tunnels just a few fathoms away from the city. We got inside but found that gates barred the way. We found levers to open the gates...
But they were not easy to reach - the first had hordes of bloodbats swarming around it; the second had an evil spider king and its minions, and the third was guarded by rogue Monquistan bandits.
(Didn't show the fights, but one thing to note - if you try to kill off the other spiders in the spider fight, forget it; the Long Legs which you have to kill to end the fight will keep casting Uber Refresh to heal the other spiders every turn.)
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| Oh Bonnie, you find a way to make even a crisis light-hearted. ^_^ |
We eventually got into the library and were met by a librarian who gave us monkey masks to hide our faces so the people wouldn't get suspicious. I didn't like looking like a man-ape, but it was this or kill off the entire Monquistan army, which was suicide and would make our quest much harder. So we traded texts until we got the book we needed, the diary of St. Jonas, which told us what we needed to know - the Paw's last owners were three brothers who had been stranded in Diablo Cut.
That was fine with me as we needed to go there anyways to collect Blood Flowers for Subodai's ritual. One word of warning if you are harvesting Blood Flowers yourself - stay away from the spider pit. Oh yeah, and ignore the warning in the beginning...
You only need to worry if you get attacked by vines. ;)
(The big plant in the ship's hold is not too difficult to fight - you only need to destroy the big flower [which has a name that I can't pronounce] to win the battle. Don't ignore the vines totally, they can do a lot of damage if you let them - I'm grateful I gave Repel Boarders to Sarah.)
"I doubt that, Ratbeard, have faith," I said, smiling. "I doubt the vines ate it. Let's check around the outside and see if we can't find another cave."
Luckily, Ol' Scratch came through for me again by animating a skeleton which we grilled for information. He directed us to a cave deeper into the Cut.
We found a plaque that told the sad tale of the brothers who had used the Paw and told us to find three keys. Sadly, the way to the main door was broken so we had to take the long way around, which was fine as we need to locate those keys first.
The Dead held one key - we defeated undead monkeys until their leader, the undead brother called Martina, appeared and attacked us. We tore him apart and got the first key.
The Deep held another key - we had to dive under some water and fight a terrible monster that glowed with marine luminescence. Me and Sarah made quick work of it.
Finally, we found the demons and lured them to us by destroying the mushrooms in the area. The second brother, who was a demon, tried to warn us away but we were not to be denied and we drove him off after destroying his minions.
We ended up fight the two brothers again after we blasted a hole through a stone wall that led to the main door by another path. They were weakened, though, and we defeated them handily. Then we reached the door and unlocked it with the keys.
(Be careful - the demon brother uses Jabu's Breath.)
I was not expecting what went on next - it seemed like something from some adventure from Texas Domes, a swashbuckling character my dad made up when he told me bedtime stories who I aspired to be like when I grew up. I shook my head and laughed.
"If you're trying to make us choose poorly, you did a bad job," I remarked, pointing to the artifact in the center of the room, a golden scepter with a shriveled monkey hand on it which wore a big gaudy ring. "Next time, make sure the fakes have actual hands on them."
He shook his head and sighed. "Oh well, I tried. Ahem, you have chosen... wisely."
I grabbed the Monkey's Paw. "Let's get out of this place, we have a promise to keep."
Sure enough, first thing I did was warp home, use the Transportal to St. Bonobo's and sail to La Mancha. I could have just warped to the life fountain and saved myself the gold, but I had a lot of stuff to sell at the bazaar.
I also let Subodai do his ritual in Vadima's shrine. His ancestor tasked him with defeating El Cid, one of the meanest brigands in Monquista, and using his war banner to make the Plume. (Actually did this as soon as I got the Blood Flowers but I didn't want to break up the story flow.)
Sure enough, I had expected Pancho's desire to get his master back to normal to be thwarted by Donkey Hotay's stomach. Oh well, not my problem anymore. I was sort of grateful I couldn't use the Paw, it was too tempting to make a wish, and when you are tempted to wish, you know Murphy's Law is gonna spank you badly. :p
Eleanor was very pleased when I handed over the Paw. "I just hope you don't use it for anything othe than to show off to the nobles," I said.
"Do not worry, I am well capable of resisting the temptation of the Paw," laughed Eleanor. "Now we can strike a blow against the Tyranny of the Crown!"
"And also, I heard that a million bananas have appeared in La Mancha," said Gortez. "This will clearly draw every Monquistan from all over the Spiral and we will be able to hire a powerful force of mercenaries to aid our cause."
"Good thing Donkey Kong screwed up," I laughed. Serendipity was smiling on us all. "So... we..."
"Yes, the treaty," said Eleanor. "I have already signed it and put the mark of my coat of arms on it. When you return to Skull Island, present it to the Governor of Puerto Mico and he will have no choice but to approve the treaty and open up trade with Skull Island."
"Thanks," I said. "We're going off to celebrate and get this last thing sorted out!"
And by celebrating, I meant side-tracking to help Subodai destroy El Cid and tearing a piece of the war banner for Subodai's plume. Now we could celebrate! ^_^
(Yeeeeah, Monquista is disappointingly small for a world when compared to Skull Island. We haven't even explored the skyways of this place fully and we're already heading towards a new world! Most of the storyline is wrapped up in two short dungeons. Oh well, the next world is going to be bigger!)
(And if you believe THAT, I have some swampland in Krokotopia to sell you. Yep, the next world is actually SMALLER, but we'll get to that in the next volume... Check in soon, unless I get lazy and play more Pirate101 and get Agnes to Mooshu before then. ;) )
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